Wednesday 22 April 2015

Venice - Italy

Venice was... interesting. I'll be honest with you, Mrs P inserted Venice into this holiday as a baby might insert a favourite finger into their nose; it's something that she has always wanted to do and found the chance while no-one was looking. I was skeptical at first but as usual, I succumbed to her charms and so we found ourselves handing over a disproportionate amount of cash to park the car for 48 hours (70 quid) then being touted for a water taxi (a further 60 quid) before actually jumping onto the water bus (7 quid).

You may have noticed at this point that Venice was starting to look expensive, and expensive it turned out to be; so insider knowledge was required. Unfortunately, unlike in Verona, our house host was not so useful either at telling us where to eat or explaining why the walls were covered in what I can only describe as tantalising pictures of ladies in various states of undress. Thankfully, The Child and The Child's Sister were too tired to pay any attention, whereas I on the other hand... <ahem>, well enough about me.




You will be glad to know then that the food crisis was averted when the Family P got talking to a very nice lady from Kent and her son on the public Gondola (1 quid each as opposed to 80 quid for a 'private' session*). She pointed out that while Venice has osteria's everywhere, these small cafes/bistros are 99% miss and 1% hit. The tourist trade is so integrated into the city that you can seemingly open a kitchen, put a couple of chairs out on the street and you'll have people sitting down ordering drinks before you've gone back inside. 

She pointed us towards a small osteria hidden in a courtyard off a back street, round the side of a church accessed by a small arch. She assured us that in the 25 years of visiting Venice, Osteria del Milion was thankfully one of the 1% and with starters of ham as well as a prawn salad we can't say we disagreed. We were hungry so photos weren't the first thing on our mind but once that first h-angry hurdle was reached, we managed to slow down.





Homemade gnocchi with tomato sauce was light and as fluffy as a cloud on a spring day  and spaghetti with mussels was also spot on with bold, bright flavours. But it was the artichoke tagolini in a simple butter and pepper sauce that really hit the spot. The creamy pasta and buttery sauce was beautifully married with the in-season soft artichoke heart.






This lunch of champions was followed by another gelato.  We found this nondescript place by getting hopelessly lost through the maze of Venice and I would love to be able to tell you where it was, but quite honestly I have no idea. Perhaps the power of the inter webs can converge in the comments below and inform us all.  What I can tell you though is that it served epic, handmade, homemade gelato. 




It was in Venice that we also discovered chocolate Fonzies. Chocolate coated crisps; as minging as that might sound, I can confirm that actually these were great. So great, in fact, that we immediately went out and bought another packet. Sad I know.  But, anything that kept the kids energised and enthused was 'a good thing'.





So there we have it.  We've got a couple of winners, as well as one where we (yes, even I, with all my research) fell foul of the disappointing 'Venetian' foodie trap. It fell so far below the 99% mentioned above we couldn't even be bothered to take any photos before we left with disappointment in our hearts (I'm looking at you Hotel Salute Venezia) and a wallet almost £100 lighter. Bad, bad times!

Lastly, I must claim full disclosure and say that Venice has some unfinished business for Mrs P and I. The last place to be added to the itinerary seems to be the first place we want to return to, but perhaps without the children. Believe me when I say that you have not known stress until you have visited a Venetian mask shop (where the average price never drops below 300 Euro) with The Child's Sister. 



At least she was happy and if I didn't know the Italian for 'she breaks it, you buy it' before, I do now. 

And now time for some gratuitous photo's of The Child in an almost deserted San Marco's Square before the Cruise liners vomit their Saga membershiped guts over it's beautiful streets and, for my money, a quintessential example of the Venice view, but from a completely anonymous and tourist free canal - fabulous.






*Well, I say private but considering that the canals are only 10 feet apart, we thankfully still got to share each beautiful moment with every passing American honeymooner who spanked 80 quid on impressing their just-wife.

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