Mrs P. and I recently found ourselves in Great Yarmouth on a cold January Sunday. Neither of us had ever been before and as we both love the coast it seemed a sensible way to pass an afternoon. And as the wind slowly started to win the battle between its chill factor and our multiple layers of clothing we decided to sample one of the greatest treats available to the British coast. Fish and Chips by the sea.
I know. Just reading it brings back memories right? Seagulls, ozone the waft of vinegar on the breeze. Lovely. The dunes stretched for miles and the beautiful horizon was interrupted only by a dirty great big wind farm. A quick turn of the head provided a view of a dirty street lined with run down slot machine halls and boarded up old theatres/hotels/churches. Credit where credit is due; there were signs of redevelopment though, we walked round the side of one such dilapidated building to discover that on one side, it was apparently the town cinema, and on the other a lapdancing club. Clearly catering to a clientele who isn't sure which way the date is going to go until the last minute. OK, so perhaps this isn't quite the perfect coastal town we were looking for.
However, I digress. It was fish and chips we were after and we eagerly entered the search term 'best fish and chips in Great Yarmouth' into our phone while the wind bit at our exposed fingers. In retrospect, the results should have been enough to tell us to abandon ship there and then.
1) Harry Ramsdens
2) Charcoal Steak House
3) Lion and Herring
Warning Will Robinson, Warning!!
If the best fish and chips in a coastal fishing town is a fast food chain we were in trouble. and so it proved. We decided to ignore the first two entries on the basis that a) we knew what Harry Ramsdens tasted like and b) we simply could not believe that somewhere billing itself as a steak house could serve the best fish and chips in town. So, instead we opted for the third choice of the great Google. Only a short walk away, the shop front was unassuming but inside was warm and smelled pleasantly of fried fish. Two orders of fish and chips plus a couple of cans of coke and the biggest gherkin known to man arrived and I was £12 quid down. Not a crazy amount to drop on lunch for two these days.
However, the enjoyment stopped there. The place was not busy and so the fish had been sat under the heat lamps for god only knows how long and had gone so dry it was grey. Perhaps it was grey to start with? There's a disturbing thought. The batter was thin, and reminded me of breading rather than a batter but a least it was a bit crispy. Mrs P. remarked that if you didn't want a burger or sausage, they didn't have much of a choice; there was the very helpfully labelled 'fish' or you could order the 'scampi' if you preferred. I've got no issue with a cut down menu, hell only serve me one thing if you like but for pitys sake, make sure it is cooked properly. So much for doing their bit for sustainable fishing.
The chips were uniquely average. Clearly cooked from frozen and managing to be both stodgy and limp at the same time and speaking of chips, one of my pet hates is watered down vinegar. I understand why places do it but it seems such a petty thing to save money on and you have to add shedloads which only serves to make the whole thing resemble baby food. The Lion hadn't just watered down their vinegar, they had replaced it altogether with water and a little bit of food colouring. When tourists come to Britain they want to try our national dishes, they want to eat the things that we like to eat. They want to eat Fish and Chips. Not only does it pain me when it's done this badly but it makes me want to stand outside and warn the people going in that it isn't all like this.
Take some pride, people of Great Yarmouth - you survive on tourism both national and international but with representations of food, culture and your attitudes to both as is shown by the Lion and Herring, I weep for you.
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